Seat Belts Are Bad. Just Like Face Masks and Flu Shots.

Photo: Rhett Allain. No, he’s not wearing a seat belt.

I’m not going to wear a seatbelt anymore. Here’s why:

• The seatbelt is uncomfortable. It rubs weird on my shoulder.
• I was talking to the guy that changes my oil. He said that he knows a guy that was in a car accident while wearing a seatbelt. The seatbelt didn’t prevent the accident — but he did get trapped in the car because of the seatbelt. Important point: this oil change guy is IN THE AUTO INDUSTRY.
• I didn’t wear a seatbelt at all last year and I never got in an accident.
• Sure, you BELIEVE that seatbelts save lives, but I BELIEVE they are bad for you.
• What about before 1968? All cars didn’t have seatbelts then. People just used their natural defenses to keep them safe.
• There are long term effects to wearing a seatbelt. If you drive a lot with a seatbelt, your left shoulder won’t be as tan as your right shoulder.

I’m kidding. Wear your seatbelt and wear a face mask. Also, get a flu shot.